Confessions of A Carb Queen

The Lies We Tell Others...The Lies We Tell Ourselves.

Sunday, October 08, 2006

Days 6, 7, 8....Long week!!

Quote of the day:

There is nothing like returning to a place that remains unchanged to find the ways in which you yourself have altered.

Nelson Manela

Days 6, 7, 8

Starting: 45 pounds to lose
Day 6: -1
Day 7: +1
Day 8: -3.8

Pounds remaining: 33.8

Total for week 10/1 - 10/8: -11.2

Goal for week 10/8-10/15: -4
Total for week 10/8-10/15:

Vitamins: Yes

Today's Grateful List:

1. my little car that could and still does
2. new sneakers
3. quiet beach walks

Physical: 1 hour gyrotonics
Spiritual: no prayers today...small talk with G-d


I think the quote that I used today is very poignant. Coming back to NY from NC has been quite a transition. New York has certainly stayed the same. I mean, a lot more road construction, but nonethless the same. It is I who have changed. My want and need for physical space from my journey outside of the tri state area. I have come to find out that there is life out of New York, yet I have this desire...."to make it here." For some reason, I don't feel so much at peace here. The traffic, the noise, the quickness, the people. I want to just "be" sometimes and I feel like I am always rushing to do something. What, I 'm not too sure. But I need to take a look at this issue. I need to slow it down...especially in my own head. The outside influences force the speed in my head. Don't get me wrong, I handle it all just fine. It's just that I don't know if I want to be so quick anymore. I think that is what is fueling so many of my feelings and sadness lately. People don't say hello, mostly. They don't connect in any way really. It's quite sad. They are going somewhere, late for something, meeting someone, hitting the close button on the elevator to make it close quicker????? I mean is that for real? Will you get to the 18th floor any quicker?? It's completely absurd.

I miss the cows near my apartment in NC. I miss the air. I miss the really nice maintenance guys that ALWAYS said hello or waved as I drove by. I miss the chit chat on the line at the drug store. I miss the connections with people. But NC was just too far from my sister and family and my friends. Who knows what will be. Maybe it is all just a state of mind and I have to wrap myself around that. This year is a transition year for me. The book, G-d willing, will be a success, I'll have my surgery, I'll have my body back, I'll, G-d willing, find the person who I can find happiness, laughter, love and joy with...but most importantly, it will be a year of peace, comfort, joy, love and connection, and happiness regardless as to what, or with whom or where I end up.

A new week. Monsoon is coming in from India!!! Can't wait to see her!

Life can sometimes be like this. Contemplative. Reflective. It's not necessarily a bad thing.

Until next time.......Keep it real...always! Susan :)


At 9:10 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thank you so much for your inspiration. I've been reading your blog and you really have a beautiful way of expressing yourself. You inspire not only in losing the weight but for others to find out who they are. If that makes sense! Thank you...and God bless you in your journey. Kim


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