Confessions of A Carb Queen

The Lies We Tell Others...The Lies We Tell Ourselves.

Monday, July 28, 2008

St. Paul

I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate.
- St. Paul

WHOA! What a quote! we ALL know what is good for us, what will make us feel good physically, emotionally, spiritually and financially...and YET...some how, some way we do the VERY thing that we KNOW will NOT make us accomplish being happy! WHHYY???

Take tonight for instance...OK...I planned on going for to the gym when I got home from work. If not the gym, then at least my 2 mile walk that I like to take down Central Park West. never know which "star" you are going to see! A week ago I saw Will Farrell!!! Anyway, I here I am...coming home from a hectic day from work..2 hours on the subway with a guy singing at the TOP of his lungs next to me. Yes, you heard me singing!!!...and not well, I may add. They have made a new law that you can't travel through the subway cars, so there I was pretty much stuck in a crowded subway car with a Luther Vandross wannabee! I had a hard day at work, like we all have...I finally make it home, it's 8:30pm. I greet my husband with a huge hug and kiss and begin to make us some dinner. By 9:10pm we are ready to eat. We finish and it's 9:45pm. By 10:00pm we have finished cleaning up from dinner. I'm exhausted!!! I say to myself, "Self, get off your butt and go for a walk. You'll feel better. Really."

Now, I know I should have gone for a walk. I know it would have made me feel better. I know that I would sleep better. I know that I would feel that I accomplished taking care of myself...and YET..."I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate." I hate that I didn't take that time for myself to unwind and do some exercise...EVEN when I know that is what would have made me happy. "I do not understand my own actions." What I do understand is that I want to do things that make me happy, make me feel good, make me a healthier and keeps me more focused. I don't want to do "the very thing that I hate."

So what is the answer? The answer is to create and enviornment that allows you to be successful and fulfill your dreams. Find the motivation to live the life that you know you want, the life you deserve. Dig deep down and figure out the "why's."

Anyone for a walk tomorrow? I'll be going for the 2 mile on Central Park West if anyone wants to join me!!!

Keep me posted!

Warmly, Susan


At 2:44 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Aren't you being kind of hard on yourself?That's a mighty long day!What I do,after a long shift,is hit the door,grab the dogs and get right back out there..sometimes just doing 1 mile.Then at dinner, make it a tomato/onion/chicken salad - not a real heavy dinner..wear your pedometer, and figure steps on your work days. But gee, to hate yourself for being tired after a long day??? Come on sweety,you sound like you have no right to live because you didn't take a walk! Relax, its a life process....


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