Confessions of A Carb Queen

The Lies We Tell Others...The Lies We Tell Ourselves.

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

I had to share this with all of you!!

In the beginning there was the diet....

In the beginning God covered the earth with broccoli, cauliflower and spinach, with green, yellow and red vegetables of all kinds so man and woman would live long and healthy lives.

Then using God's bountiful gifts, Satan created Dairy Ice Cream and Magnums.
And Satan said "You want hot fudge with that?
And Man said "Yes!"
And Woman said "I ' ll have one too, with chocolate chips".
And lo, they gained 10 pounds.

And God created the healthy yoghurt that Woman might keep the figure that Man found so fair.

And Satan brought forth white flour from the wheat and sugar from the cane and combined them.
And Woman went from size 12 to size 14.

So God said "Try my fresh green salad".

And Satan presented Blue Cheese dressing and garlic croutons on the side.
And Man and Woman unfastened their belts following the repast.

God then said "I have sent you healthy vegetables and olive oil in which to cook them".

And Satan brought forth deep fried coconut king prawns, butter-dipped lobster chunks and chicken fried steak, so big it needed its own platter.
And Man's cholesterol went through the roof.

Then God brought forth the potato, naturally low in fat and brimming with potassium and good nutrition.

Then Satan peeled off the healthy skin and sliced the starchy centre into chips and deep fried them in animal fats padding copious quantities of salt.
And Man put on more pounds.

God then brought forth running shoes so that his Children might lose those extra pounds.

And Satan came forth with a cable TV with remote control so Man would not have to toil changing the channels.
And Man and Woman laughed and cried before the flickering light and started wearing stretch jogging suits.

Then God gave lean beef so that Man might consume fewer calories and still satisfy his appetite.

And Satan created McDonalds and the 99 cents double cheeseburger.
Then Satan said "You want fries with that?" and Man replied "Yes, And super size ' em".
And Satan said "It is good."
And Man and Woman went into cardiac arrest.

God sighed ........ and created quadruple by-pass surgery.

And then Satan laughed and created PRIVATE HEALTH CARE .


SO...the moral of the story is....eat natures food!!!!!! If it comes from the ground instead of a plastic bag...you're going in the right direction!!!

Keep me posted!!!

Warmly, Susan

4 Comments:

At 5:06 AM, Anonymous Jackie said...

Hi Susan.....I have just started reading your book. Im at about page 80...I'm really enjoying it. I didn't know you had a website, so I will be checking in often! Thanks for sharing such a real story!!! I cant wait to get to the part where you start to lose weight!!! Congrats!

 
At 8:53 PM, Anonymous Katie said...

Your book id AMAZING!!!

It has really made me see how destructive my own comfort eating is!! You're an amazing example. Thank you for your honesty, I think you are helping a LOT of people. I'm so glad you have a blog!

Your fan,.

Katie

 
At 7:34 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Susan,
I bought your book Sunday and am almost finished. I can't put it down! Thank you for the brutal honesty and the courage to write what so many of us are feeling. I can relate to so many of the things in the book, it's amazing. I suddenly feel not so alone. THANK YOU! I too didn't know you had a blog - I'll be checking it often. :)
Hugs,
Susan (we even share a name!)

 
At 5:53 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

this is seriously one of the best things i have ever read...it made me smile on my sunday at the office. (in you book) you said caroline was the writer in the family...

 

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